MY LIFE IN LIPPY AND LEOPARD PRINT
Back in 2011 when she won at the British Comedy Awards, Miranda creator, writer and actor Miranda Hart said instead of partying the night away to celebrate her new gong, she wanted to “get home as quickly as possible, put the kettle on and get in my onesie”.
Some people chuckled at that, how hilarious! Just like her character on the show, acting silly, finding herself standing in the middle of the road just in her knickers and control tights. Ha, ha, ha….
Not ‘ha how ironic’ for some, though.
The ones who thought ‘oh I’ll get me one of those too’. Much to my distress, Hart’s comment seemed to have kicked off a new and inappropriate lust.
When I moaned about onesies on Twitter yesterday, someone quite rightly said people have the right to wear what they want to in the privacy of their own homes.
Of course they do. Anyone can pull on the sexless, saggy bottomed romper suit and doss about in it if they like.
But I still have concerns:
Wearers may be confused with an over-grown toddler. If that’s okay with you, well…
Men in onesies. Absolutely not. This is non-negotiable.
Some people will do the school run in them. You know they will. The temptation will be too much.
How does one cope should the novovirus hit? With one million cases of it and counting, I don’t have the confidence everyone’s going to be able to navigate their way to the loo and wriggle out of such an outfit speedily should the need arise.
Sweatiness. Swathing yourself in man-made fibres from head to toe. The itching.
People mocked Elvis for years because of the famous jumpsuits. But he wore them on stage – not at home in Graceland (well, maybe at Xmas). Elvis donned them so people could see him from the back in such gynormous venues.
What’s your excuse?
For your onsie, people will skit you also, for decades.
And you, oh onsesie woman, can’t complain. You av bin warned.