I’m A Celebrity, Get Me In The Library. **IDEA**

It’s a Saturday morning and I’m in the library. The library of now, it’s like a reverse library from when I was a kid. Instead of dusty old books are nice new ones, loads of them, and in the place of people there’s empty spaces.

The librarians of now chit-chatter from behind the desk about speed reading. It’s not for them, all agree; they have a point.  I don’t like speed reading either, it defeats the object of reading really. I just wish they’d keep the noise down.

SHHHHH! I want to say but won’t, because the sky will come crashing down or so I reckon. Libraries haven’t changed that bloody much. Librarians, they still have the power, no matter how old you are.

Library assistant

A homeless dude is sitting by the magazine rack in the corner, out of the way. He rests his chin on his chest and he’s got copies of the NME and The Lady opened at random pages on the table in front of him. The best effort I’ve ever seen in my life of pretending to read whilst snatching some solid zzzz’s, he’s covering all bases, every audience. There’s no way the librarians will budge him now, if you’re reading The Lady you’re posh, an eccentric millionaire maybe. He’s got them on lock down. Good for him. I like to think every now and then he opens his eyes and checks out an indie band or two, and idles over a recipe for fancy cake.

The night before, I’m talking to a mate in the pub. I say I’m going to the library in the morning, she asks ‘Why?’, and pulls her face.

We go through the whole rigmarole, the same conversation I’ve had with so many people. Yep, I know I can download books for nothing, but I don’t want to.

The library’s minging (it isn’t, it smells of Lemon Pledge and books), I haven’t got time (she has), it’s too far (the house of books is NOT that far), the library is for povs (hmmm), I used to go when the kids were little but..., and I’m so busy

Her list of reasons not to go is endless. It never stops. Seems to me, on paper I have fewer reasons to go than she has not to, and that makes me feel sad.

Les Tucker

I don’t know how to sex up the library for her. I think that’s what she wants. But if it was sexy, homeless dude might not be welcome, and that’s not good; bloody hell, the odds are I wouldn’t fit in either.  Still, if the library was sexed up my mate might go, once in a while. How do you sex up a library? Add some celebrity zing, maybe? Because that’s what we’re all after, yes?

Off the top of my head, I’m thinking:

I’m A Celebrity Get Me In The Library.

The Great British Book Off.

The Library Factor.

Where do I pitch these ideas, please?

@cathbore

Breaking Boundaries

Oh, the state of the One Direction fans at the concerts this weekend, watching Harry and the boys singing and dancing for them, spending time with their friends, having a day they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. Having such a delicious day, they are wrong and stupid, the girls who don’t know any better and the women who really should; the stupid, hysterical women who have no lives. The 1D fans, all of them, they’ll learn soon enough.

Us who know better, us with our proper music on vinyl because it’s so fucking authentic, us sitting at home on our own on Facebook, and mocking them, these ridiculous stupid females. We are winning. Of course we are.

I suggest the spunk-trumpets are not on stage at 1D shows, but in fact at home on their own creating memes like this.
I suggest the real “spunk-trumpets” are not on stage at 1D shows, but instead creating memes like this.

I have an article on women gaining and developing their own voice in the Breaking Boundaries issue of GEEKED Magazine, out this week. Available here.

geeked june 2015

@cathbore

Wherever You Roam

You know when you have someone over at your place and you say “make yourself at home”? Have you ever wondered what would happen if your guest did exactly that? If they ran themselves a bath, put on the chip pan, maybe? Well, I did imagine the exact scenario, in a piece of flash fiction called (unsurprisingly) MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. It is published this week in Slim Volume: Wherever You Roam (Pankhearst), along with another flash, WATCHING.

Wherever You Roam004

Slim Volume: Wherever You Roam is available in paperback here.

@cathbore

Writer Cath Bore “In my writing I create female characters who meet the world on their own terms”

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Cath Bore:

I’m over at Art Saves lives International today talking about feminism and writing.

Originally posted on ASLI:

Writer Cath Bore “In my writing I create female characters who meet the world on their own terms”.

Cath Bore Cath Bore

Cath Bore, Liverpool, UK, started as a music writer in her early 20’s then went on to write creatively. Cath has an MA in Creative Writing, and lots of her flash fiction and feminist essays / creative non fiction is published in the UK and the US.

What motivated you to deal with the subject of domestic violence in your art?

Domestic violence is a cause very close to my heart. I find it odd domestic violence victims and survivors are put in boxes labelled “it was their own fault”. The more we talk about DV in its different guises, the better.

 

Tell us why you chose this submission?

I wrote FRIDAY ROSES after I saw a Facebook meme about a woman who received flowers every birthday from her husband…

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In the Media: 19th April 2015

Cath Bore:

My flash fiction “The Other Woman” is included in The Writes of Women’s In the Media round up this week:

Originally posted on The Writes of Woman:

In the media is a weekly round-up of features written by, about or containing female writers that have appeared during the previous week and I think are insightful, interesting and/or thought provoking. Linking to them is not necessarily a sign that I agree with everything that’s said but it’s definitely an indication that they’ve made me think. I’m using the term ‘media’ to include social media, so links to blog posts as well as traditional media are likely and the categories used are a guide, not definitives.

The Bailey’s Women’s Prize for Fiction shortlist was revealed this week. Sarah Shaffi of The Bookseller reports, ‘Experience tells on Baileys Women’s Prize shortlist‘ while Anna James of We Love This Book introduces us to each of the books and invites us to read along in this video.

Other big news was London Book Fair. For readers, this means announcements about…

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Timed Out

There are so many flash fiction timed competitions now, the sort where you are given a photo or word prompt and a set time – often mere hours – to write a punchy flash fiction. I sign up to them and swear blind I’ll enter this week honestly, but I never do.

It’s the time element that doesn’t suit me,  I think; but I’ve used such prompts quite a lot and worked on the flashes until I’m happy with them. I saw this photo on the Angry Hourglass site back in October 2014:

 angry hourglass

The photo reminded me of the sort of characters we have in Liverpool. The city is full of them, the wonderful busker Jacky (aka Plinkety Plink, because he mimed playing a cardboard guitar and sang “plinkety-plink” to Beatles songs, no matter the actual lyric) who performed outside Probe Records in the 1980s. Jacky died and was replaced by a doppleganger who carried on in his stead, like a tribute act of sorts.

I remember too Cherry Red frequenting pubs in the city centre, so called because he put shoe polish on his head in an effort to conceal his balding pate. The Cherry Red and Plinkety-Plink monikers were not meant as cruel or nasty, but affectionately and  both men are still spoken about with fondness.

So when I saw the pic of the man in his top hat on Angry Hourglass I imagined him prancing about in Liverpool or another city and getting up to all sorts. I wrote a flash fiction about him called Follow The Finger; it went quite dark in the end, as my flashes often do. Last week some six months after I first saw the photo Follow The Finger was published over at Flash Fiction Magazine. You can read it here.

@cathbore